I’ve been a little MIA on social lately, and I wish it was on purpose because then I could use the excuse of, “I was taking a social detox.” I’ve re-wrote this post about a hundred times, but what it all comes down to is that depression is hard. I’ve shied away from talking about this before (hello mental health stigmas), but this year it has hit me hard.
Over the years I’ve learned to keep my emotions under control and honestly haven’t felt the dark cloud of depression in years, but with the change of seasons and planning a wedding, that dark cloud just came rolling back in. I’m a planner and love to talk and dream about what the future holds. I find it’s a constant battle to remind myself of all the exciting things to look forward to, and if I’m not careful, I let these things become stresses in my life.
Last week I went wedding dress shopping and even though I had been waiting for that day almost my whole life, I was not excited – which was made even worse because my family traveled 4+ hours to watch me twirl around in a sea of white satin and chiffon. I ended up finding my dress (YAY!), which was completely unexpected, and I’m glad my sister took photos because now I can slowly start re-living that moment with excitement.
If you’ve made it this far, I want you to know this is a safe place. Things will always get better (even if it doesn’t feel like it) and I’m here to lend an open ear with no judgement. I know how difficult it can be to start the conversation, but trust me, you will feel so much better after you do.
Thanks for sticking around, friends.